November 9, 2009

A few words can be the mistake of a lifetime. You hear the words weave your way into your ears, and then when you are talking to someone you find those same words spilling out of your mouth... and suddenly the world is against you for having repeated it, though it wasn't your fault. Sometimes not talking at all seems like a good choice.

October 25, 2009

It took me several tries to write this one...yet, I still stand blank about the subject.
The divine beauty of a rose is admired from afar, shall you dare to go near and let your fingers slide over the smooth beauty of the petals. Slide slowly downward and the pain acknowledges itself. A single drop of blood, as pure as a child's innocent drop hangs from your finger. The thorn of such a beauty would instantly hurt you.
Now, I wonder what won't hurt me?

October 23, 2009

Today the sun was shining brightly. I felt the warm rays kiss my cheeks when I stepped onto the sidewalk. On normal bases, the sun would never please me, but today it was different. The warmth wrapped around me like a mother holding her child, while the cool wind blew my hair in different directions. A moment which I would like to capture and relive it again and again.
Ever feel like what you're doing is so horrific, nobody will trust you after that? Every day of my life, I am filled with conflicts in which I stand undecided. And somehow, every choice I make is...or is going to negatively affect me. Guilt, wonder, shock, amazement.....never should be together. But in life, haha, everything is messed up, am I right?
I don't feel like writing very much today, due to my lack of intelligence, but hey....

October 22, 2009

Ok, so I don't who is reading this, but who cares? Make sure to criticize it.
So, Is it possible to feel hatred, sadness, and sympathy toward one person at the same time? Yea, it is very possible. Jeff *obviously, I am not going to be using real names* made a terrible mistake. You see Jeff said something to be said out loud but where the whole world could hear it. He didn't mean to say. Jeff's life had never been really great, ever since he was a little kid, the torment of living bothered him from the pits of his soul. He would never show it though, not once. I would have never thought Jeff was the one in denial, in depression. Soon, his outbursts became inexcusable. The words poured out of his lips before he could stop them. His family suffers from it now. They were absolutley horrified at his words.
They felt hatred toward him for saying it. They felt sadness for him, because they didn't want to see their loved one go on in depression. They felt sympathy, because it is very likely they made the same mistake. Like the blog says "Laconic Words Go A Long Way." Just a few words can easily destroy a person's life.

***

Have you ever felt so close to someone that you couldn't even imagine losing them? Even in your sleep, you felt their strong hands around you. Even when your mind slowly wandered away, you could see their eyes watching you. Even when you just sit there, you feel their lips softly against yours. But, the best part is, when you see him all your dreams come true. You know that they have a place in your heart. "You will always be beautiful to me, even when you don't have an expensive dress, and even when your hair is all over the place. No one could ever replace you." You hear these words repeated in their voice again and again. The happiness you feel when you see him could burn a hole through the thickest iron. The love is so strong, everyone around can feel it in the air.

Then one day, just like a leaf in the wind, he is gone. He left the tree, wandered out into the ocean, and no one ever saw your precious leaf again. No matter how many tears pour from your eyes, the tree will never make another leaf as perfect as your own. No matter how much you plead, your leaf is going to decay and pass between the soil and one day, reach the core....

A wise voice once told me, "If your love is so strong, then no matter where you are, how you are, nothing will seperate you. He will be there, with you, in your heart watching over you." Is he?

October 21, 2009

Considered my diary, that everyone can see.

Life is not that great for me. I live in a wonderful place, and I try to keep the positive in my mind, but when the anger, the depression shows it's face to me, I'm stuck.
I was born to a family that was extremely seperated. There was too much hate, and not enough love. I grew up seeing the most horrible things in life.
Now, as a teenager, it hit me. I am the most screwed up person you can find. I fell in love, and then stayed away from that person for maybe about 3 months now, and it pains me every day. I talked to another person, and before I could fall in love with him, I picked every reason I could find to hate him. He doesn't even meet my eyes in the hallway.
I have made alot of mistakes in lives, including not telling the truth. (But that is for another diary entry....)